Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A phrase that really bugs me...

Are there phrases that other people say to you or that you read or hear from someone and the phrase just rubs you the wrong way?? Or you walk away thinking, "Is the person really feeling that way or are they just being nice?" There are certain phrases that have been getting on my nerves lately. I can not really explain why...but I wanted to voice them and see what others thought. I appologize in advance if I offend you. None of these phrases are directed to anyone directly.

The phrase that really really bugs me 
right now is:
"I miss you" or "I miss you so much!!"

This has got to be the number one phrase that just irks me. Is our society really missing who they say they are missing or is it just something to say in social settings or internet sites?? Lately I just think that this word has been thrown around and it doesn't really mean anything. I tend to laugh to myself when someone tells me that they miss me since I have moved away. I wonder why this person is missing me since I rarely hung out with them outside of say my job or any other social setting. Someone just a couple years ago had told me, "I miss you so much!!!" A sick feeling just ran through my body once this phrase was said. I wanted to respond with, "How can you miss me so much when we have just been reacquainted after ten plus years with Facebook?" and "How can you really miss me, since we NEVER really spent time together as you were better friends with someone else!" I didn't say anything, though. I figured it was just a ploy to get me to feel good so that I would show up to their social event that they were having while I was in town. I had other plans I didn't feel bad not responding to the message.

The only time I really take this phrase to heart is when I hear this from loved ones or my very small circle of best friends or close work managers. I know that when they say, "Hey Amy, I miss you..." they are truly meaning it. A close friend of mine asked me last week when we were chatting online when I was coming home to Oregon. I hadn't really thought about it and asked her why she was asking? She said, "Because I am missing you right now and could use a married friend right now who has no kids to relate to." It warmed my heart when I heard that. I told her that as soon as I knew when I was making my next trip to Oregon I would let her know.

I will admit that I have fallen under this trap and told people that I have missed them...but in reality...I probably didn't mean it. I am now trying to not just flip this phrase around all over the place...because it is a phrase that should be taken seriously. I now only tell this phrase to people who are in my small circle of close friends or family members. When I would tell someone that I missed them I tended to wonder later if I just missed having the memories with them. Such as, telling an old boyfriend that I missed him after we had broken up. There was a reason why we had broken up and so I didn't miss the drama that was with the relationship or even who the person had turned into. I had just missed being around him when we had first started dating.

I also, asked a couple friends of mine if I were crazy for having a problem with this phrase. They first agreed that I was already a bit crazy but yet they both agreed with me that this phrase is really tossed around. One friend even said, "It's the new thing to say when you have nothing else to say to someone!" Another friend said, "If I tell you that I miss you it is because I honestly do!" They said, "I tell people that I miss them because I miss having them around to just act normal to, or to have an amazing good time with."

So the next time you tell someone that you miss them...stop and and think about it. Do you really honestly miss them or do you just have nothing else to say and feel the need to fill in the gap?

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