Quote Frames!!!

While at the retreat this past weekend we had a craft session. I had so much fun doing this craft that I had to share with the rest of you. Coley posted how to make our craft earlier today on her blog and I thought I would just link her blog to mine. Click on the link below to see what supplies you will need to create one of these cute Quote Frames!! Coley's Corner: Group Craft: Quote Frames  **Come back to my blog once you have read her little blog on how to make one of these!**

Now that you have read how to make one...be creative and make one of your own!!! Most of the supplies you could probably find at the dollar store! 

Here is the finished product of my own frame. I had so much fun making one this past weekend that it makes me want to make a few more!! 

 

Below is what my frame looks like with something written on the glass: 

Birthmother's Weekend - Charlotte, NC

27 women, 27 unique stories, less than 5 hours of sleep each night, 3 days in 1 city all combined together creates a very exhausting weekend. Sound like fun?? Well I was one of the 27 women doing exactly that, this past weekend!!



For some of you who follow me on Facebook will know that I went down to Charlotte, North Carolina this past weekend for the Birthmom Buds Birthmother's Day Celebration. Birthmother's day is the day before Mother's Day. Since a lot of birthmothers may be parenting children as well, Birthmom Buds put on the retreat the weekend before. This was my first year to be able to go. I had been wanting to go for several years but could never figure out how to go. I was given an amazing opportunity to go this year and I took it. Thank you to the person who gave me this opportunity!! I flew out early Friday morning and met Lani at the airport as her plane landed just about thirty minutes after my flight. We then shared a taxi ride over to the hotel. I met up with a couple other birthmoms who were sitting in the hotel lobby eating some breakfast. I sat for a few minutes while my room was being straightened out as our party was all suppose to be staying on the 10th floor. Once I got my room I went up and took a shower to try and wake myself up as I knew it would be a long day and probably a very late night.

Once I was ready, I heard a kock on the door and it was several other ladies wondering if I was ready to go. I grabbed what I needed and made sure I had my camera. Our hotel room was just across the street from the brand new NASCAR Hall of Fame. Two other birthmothers were already inside of the Hall of Fame and so Coley called them to see how far into the exhibit they were. They were not very far and so I embraced my inner redneck and excitedly walked up to buy a ticket for admission. If you are a NASCAR fan, please take an entire day and spend it at the Hall of Fame if you are ever in or very near Charlotte. Completely worth it, and discounted tickets can be found through your AAA membership!! After spending the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon at the Hall of Fame, we went back to the hotel to rest for a bit. I went back to my hotel room to get dressed for dinner as we were headed to a nice Italian place.

Ladies at dinner - Friday Night

Friday evening was spent with 19 other birthmothers and a few of their mothers. I shared an entree with someone as the entrees were huge!!! So yummy and I have found a place to eat at again when I go back to Charlotte! Friday night some of us ventured out to a bar called Howl at the Moon where there was some dueling piano playing going on. I didn't know what to expect, but found myself singing along to songs like "Brown Eyed Girl" and "American Pie". When we got back to the hotel a small group of us sat in Coley's hotel room telling each other our placement stories. I has been awhile since I have verbally told my story and it was great to hear other women their placement stories. It was amazing the bond that was really felt in that room. Women who were all like each other in so many ways young and older. 2:30a rolled around and it was definitely bedtime.

Saturday came quickly and I found out that I should probably share a room with someone next year. My alarm went off, and I thought I had hit the snooze button. Well the snooze never went back off and I woke up 40 minutes before the actual Birthmother's event started!! Talk about a rude awakening!! I took a very quick shower and tried to look as presentable as I could. I skipped any eye makeup as I figured it would be a pretty emotional day. I am a sympathy crier at times and didn't need to end up with burning racoon eyes!! The morning consisted of sitting through two different break-out sessions. The first one I chose was on close adoptions. Now before you say anything, "Yes I do have an open adoption, but I wanted to learn something new and I find the closed adoption world very interesting!" The session was on what to expect if a reunion happens and it goes wrong, or if a reunion never fully happens and how to cope. Most of the women who gathered around the table were all from the era of closed adoptions. Myself and another woman were the only ones who had an open adoption. I am just in awe at the women who were not given a choice of why type of adoption they wanted due to the time period of when their placement was. The other breakout session that I chose to sit through was how to deal with the shame and guilt one may have when dealing with adoption emotions. Once again very interesting and some got very emotional with this session. I am at peace at where I am for the most part in my adoption decision and so even though I may have some shame and/or guilt...I have been able to process a lot of these emotions already.After session number 2 we all ventured over to a different room and created a fun little craft tht was extremely easy. I will make sure to blog about that later this week!!!

Katrina - one of the speakers who was a birthmother and an adoptive mom

After lunch came a pretty emotional afternoon. Speakers that ranged from all sides of the Adoption Triad that had different walks of life and how they have dealt with the emotions from being in that part of the adoption triad. Once the speakers were done we did a balloon release and then watched the annual slideshow. I am one who can only watch the slideshow once a year and then I am done with it. I love viewing it each year but it is something that I can't watch over and over.

2011 Balloon release

 After the slideshow came probably the most emotional part of the day which was the Birthmother Candle Ceremony. Once the actual event was over I went back to the hotel room and took a nap before the next set of evening festivities would start. I was dragging and full well knew it could be another very late night. Dinner was spent at Rock Bottom Brewery and then we all headed over to an 80s/90s dance club. Some of us dressed up in 80s/90s clothing and jewelry. I left early as I was just needing some time to sit and be alone. It had been a long day and I was looking forward to going back to a quiet room.

The dance club had glow glasses!!

 Yesterday I woke up and got ready to head on out. I didn't know what time check-out was and so I wanted to be prepared that it may be an early checkout right after breakfast. I said "see you later" to some of the women who had early flights to catch or were headed back home by car sooner than some of the rest of us. I l and 6 other women who all had late afternoon or evening flights spent the afternoon together exploring a little bit more of Charlotte. I fell in love with everything that Charlotte has to offer and I was sad when I was in the airport having to say goodbye to such an awesome city and the amazing women who I met over the weekend.

Pam, one of the ladies who I hung out with Sunday afternoon

I am looking forward to next year as I am definitely going back. I have already made plans that the day after I get back from my trip next year I am not doing anything but staying home and sleeping if I can. The retreat/girls weekend or whatever you want to call it was completely worth loosing sleep. I made friendships that I feel will last a very long time. I look forward to getting to know some of these women a little bit better (on their adoption life and their non-adoption life) over the next year and hopefully see some of them in person before next May!!!

Melanie and I who share lots of things in common!

"Don't come back for 7 to 10 days!"

1991 the movie "My Girl" with Anna Chlumsky and Macaulay Culkin. The scene when Vada (Anna's character) learns that her period started. The next scene, Vada answering the door as Thomas (Macaulay's character) rings the door bell to see if Vada is able to come out and go swimming. Vada pushes Thomas and yells at him, "And don't come back for seven to ten days!" She then turns around walks in the house and slams the door.

Vada learning she will have her period for the next 7-10 days.

As women we can all relate to this scene all too well every month. Well I am feeling that way tonight, and it is just the start of PMS. I had a decent day at work, but then this evil poisonous monster took over me on my way home from work. Not too sure where it came from...but I hate it!! I wish that I could yell at everyone from my front porch to not bother me and to not come back for seven to ten days, but if I did that then I wouldn't have a job after those ten days were up. I guess I will be like any other woman and have to suck it up. 

I will force myself to post my daily joys each day as I think this will help me keep daily life into perspective. So here is to today's joys:

1. The sun was out on my way to work this morning. 

2. A fairly good day at work with not too many challenging phone calls.

3. I spent the evening with my husband and three dogs.

4. Bravo's Real Housewives of NYC started back up tonight. 

(Ok, for most of you, the last joy is a stretch, but I love the NYC housewives. I admit, I have a television junkie, but this is one of the shows that I can sit back and laugh at because even people with too much money have relationship issues with men and women.) 

Seven...

Kaylee celebrating with her friends for birthday #5 (2009)

 Seven is a big number in life in general. God created the the earth in seven days for those of us who believe in creation. For all of us who enjoy color, there are seven colors of the rainbow. For those of us who enjoy science there are seven base units for measuring and if you get three sevens while playing a slot machine you win the jackpot. This year though, the number seven is very special to me.

Seven years ago today I had been up all night sitting in a hospital bed doing what women know best. A bit of yelling, laughing, watching cooking shows, trying not to get annoyed from people and oh ya...HAVING A BABY!! Today, seven years ago I became a mom. One thing that no one can ever take away from me. I pushed every 2 minutes for 2.5 hours straight to be able to hold a five pound four ounce baby girl in my arms for the first time. I will never forget that night for as long as I will live. I couldn't believe what had happened, as if it was a dream. I do then remember looking up at this baby girl's adoptive mom and saying, "well mom what is her name?" She said, "How about Kaylee Rae?" And so be it...I was holding the cutest little Kaylee Rae in my arms. No one could even start to prepare me for the emotions that I would have with seeing her for the first time. You can read all the books and try to be prepared, but it is something that every woman who has given birth can only understand with out words.

I try to do something special each year when Kaylee's birthday comes around. Last year I blogged about how I was going to spend the day and so forth. Since I am doing the Daily Joys each day, I figured my blog should be something centered around that since Miss Kaylee's birthday is a joyous occasion!!

1. I cherish her hand drawn pictures, craft projects, and school photographs that are sent to me a couple times a year.
2. I see her on a yearly basis when I head home to Oregon.
3. I am loving how she gives me a call every so often to either wish me a good day or to tell me about her loosing a tooth at recess.
4. I can not ask 2 better people to raise my child!
5. I try and tell people in a positive way how adoption has affected my life
6. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing women who all share the same emotions I deal with on a yearly basis
7. I look forward to the many years to come and developing a close relationship with Kaylee as she gets older.

I am sure I could go on and on about mindless things...but I truly am loving her birthday this year. I hope that each birthday gets better!!!

Happy birthday my Lil Miss Kaylee!! 

I hope that you had a wonderful day!

Women, Drama, and Meetup

Why is it that anytime there is a group full of women there is always drama?? I really do hate this aspect of being a woman. It is as if every woman is competing with each other to be bigger, better, and more successful than the person she is sitting next to at a dinner table. This year I made a pact that I would try my best to eliminate the drama in my life. I get tired of the drama as it tends to affect my relationship with my husband and other family members. I get negative and just want to sit and bicker and pick at everything that is going on. I didn't want to be like that for 2011. I wanted to look a the best possible outcome for each aspect in my life.

Just shortly after I moved to Cleveland, I found a Tea Society group on Meetup.com and loved it!! I loved the women who were in the group as we all shared a common interest. The group owner stepped down due to life activities that prevented her to attending the events that she herself had planned. She handed the group over to another member in the group. This new leader, we will call her M. I gave M the benefit of the doubt as she took over the tea society and tried to keep it running as the original owner had planned. I would attend the events, but something just didn't seem right. I tried to ignore the drama that M was creating in the group among members who were just asking simple basic questions that would then be blown out of proportion. I stayed out of it as much as possible, but did notice that either people were dropping out of the group like flies or something was up as not many people were showing up to each event. M claimed that she was British and wanted everyone to wear hats to each Afternoon Tea that was planned. I had explained to M that I didn't own any hats that would be appropriate for tea. I attended an event in November with no hat and was scolded as if I was a child. I was so upset but tried to not let it ruin my time there at the tea house. Later that day I was sent a very rude email from M who told me that she didn't think that I was best suited for the group as I am not complying to the group standards and continued to bring "negative" energy. I tried to ignore it everything, but then had to fight back. She then removed me from the group as I was correcting her on semantics because each event she expected people to wear hats even if it was not posted in the event details. Oh well...such is life. About a month after being removed from the group, I started my own Tea group. Since M is such a control freak she was very agitated to say the least that I outsmarted her and beat her at her own game. I felt like I got justice, as she couldn't do anything about it as everyone is entitled to have their own public group. Since creating my own group I have close to even in numbers as her for members AND my events are always packed full. I know members who are in the other group who are members of mine and have told me that my group is better as it is drama free.

Next on the list, late in 2010 a new ladies club was created on Meetup. I was very excited about this as I was really looking for a group where I could meet some women my own age to hopefully have a friendship with. I tend to have the personality that gets along better with men. I always have and probably always will. I though still miss having a set of girlfriends who can relate to just being a girl. I started going to the new club and met some awesome women. The organizer was yet another control freak who only really wanted to talk to the "stylish" "skinny" girls of the group. I attempted to make conversations with her and we just didn't click. I though did find a small group of women who I am going to miss seeing on a weekly basis if Rob and I move come this summer. I though yet again found that an all women's club or group had high drama. The organizer didn't like people suggesting things of what to do even though she had asked people to do so. I guess once she found "her group" of women she didn't really care about the rest. I just realized that the group was not for me as I didn't want to feel resentful at every event because the leader doesn't know how to interact with people who do not live up to her own standards or who may have a disability. Since I have left the group, I just feel a lot better about myself. Now do I miss getting together on a weekly basis with the women that I truly connected with? For sure I do! The women who enjoy having me around, we tend to do things every couple of weeks. Not much drama with my little small group.

What have I learned from both of these groups? I have learned that I have to find a small group of women to put myself around that accept me for me. I have also learned that I tend to have problems with leaders who tend to be control freaks. I am a leader of a new tea group like I said earlier, and I am trying a new approach to the thinking. I am just going with the flow and trying to keep the drama out. So far, so good!! I try not to imprint my own beliefs and thinking on others and most people become a bit weird or it makes them feel uncomfortable. I fully believe that we live in a society where we all are human and can believe what we want, even if the women sitting next to you at dinner doesn't believe that. Just accept that everyone is different and enjoy the moment while it lasts.